A man dreams of leaving, but he always stays behind

Maybe tomorrow...

2005-11-16T04:28:36Z

Been down and I'm wondering why
These little black clouds keep walking around with me
Waste time and I'd rather be high
Think I'll walk me outside and buy a rainbow smile but be free
So maybe tomorrow I'll find my way home

I look around at a beautiful life
I been the upper side of down; been the inside of out but we
Breathe

I wanna breeze and an open mind
I wanna swim in the ocean, wanna take my time for me

So maybe tomorrow I'll find my way home

...

2005-10-21T03:05:05Z

...

...

...

I GOT U2 TICKETS

December 4, Boston Fleet Center

Wee

2005-10-15T14:52:32Z

Woohoo. Chemistry SAT's are over, now time to get ready for Math IIC SAT's. And college essays. AND THEN I'M DONE!!! SO CLOSE!!

:-D I should be pissed I still have so much to do but its within reach! almost!

hmm

2005-10-02T05:35:39Z

Ever feel like you have so much to talk about/let out, but no one you want to talk to? Yeah, feels like that right now. Life is so overwhelming...

Just ran through my 7th set of chemistry SAT's, got a 680. Shit. Why the hell is this so hard?! I've probably spent 40 hours over the past month or so studying for this, but I'm still not confident at all.

Practiced only once all week for CYS. (Connecticut Youth Symphony)

STILL haven't finished/finalized my first college essay. That's just the first one.

Don't even get me started on regular school stuff. Too much to even begin with.

And too little to begin with when it comes to friends and social-or-lack-thereof life.

AM I THE ONLY ONE FEELING THIS STRESSED?!?! Why does it seem like I am the only person who is this overloaded? Are all the other seniors getting this bogged down by sports/school/extracurricularstuff/testing/collegeadmissions?!

(Now here Mr. Shiers would say something liberal and deep about the horrors of conforming to the educational system. Truthfully, I don't care if I am or not. I want to get into a good school and possibly become an engineer.. so I want to do whatever it takes to get there.)

One thing I really am looking forward to is getting the ball rolling on my Amnesty International "project". Going to try and raise money and awareness for corporate human rights abuses in other countries.. coffee growers, in particular. I'll try and get a fundraiser going to sell Free Trade coffees instead of the slave-labor stuff you get at Starbucks, Dunkin Donuts, etc. Also will try and get a letter-writing campaign going, maybe provide letter templates and corporate addresses for kids willing to do something about it. It's going to be a good year at Amnesty, I hope.

Camp/Schedule

2005-08-20T21:39:44Z

Just got back from Green Mountain Running Camp today :-D What an awesome time. Did a lot of running obviously, learned a lot, met a ton of great people. I'm relieved to be home, but I definitely miss the place already... I wish I could go again, too bad I'm graduating this year.

My (AMAZING minus Riccio) Schedule for next year

1st Semester

Homeroom: Drapeau (wooot)
1. AP English - LaChance
2. Open
3. AP Physics - Salerni (it'll be a challenge, hope I'm up for it)
4. Ethics - LaChance
5. Open
6. AP Computer Science (possibly will switch it to Engineer in Training)
7. AP Calculus BC (fuck Riccio)
8. Open (I get to leave school at 1:25)

2nd Semester
Same except:

4. Humanities - Abrams
8. Social Psych - Abrams

Should be a tough but damn good time.

See everyone in a week or so :-)

bemanix88 @ 2005-07-29T23:49:00

2005-07-30T03:49:43Z

I really, really hope no one from AHS, especially any of my friends, was affected by the accident on 44 today. I was driving out to Ithaca, NY around 7am to look at a school this morning and I heard on the radio that there was some accident on 44 and it was closed. Didn't think much of it until I was driving home at 11pm and saw a big flashing sign announcing that 44 was STILL closed.

20 car pileup, 4 people dead, 4 critically injured, 11 more hospitalized. Apparently, much of it due to a company--American Crushing and Recycling--not properly maintaining its trucks. This company had 448 mechanical violations between '94 and '01, according to CNN. Also, the truck involved in the accident had 5 brake violations last year and many other problems in the past, even being forced off the roads by the state DMV for being unsafe in 2002. Real nice, guys.

My proudest creation

2005-05-19T02:42:17Z

It's an iPod dock made out of Legos!! I woulda thrown in some red to match the ipod, but my little brother hid all the legos somewhere so all I could get were black ones.

Woohoo?

2005-04-23T16:35:11Z

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/B0006M81NU/ref%3Dnosim/slickdeals/102-5946886-9030510

They sell vibrators on Amazon.com. How weird is that?

Don't ask me where I got this from! :-)

bemanix88 @ 2005-04-20T20:25:00

2005-04-21T00:25:18Z

Bah. Why is it that once it gets past 8 or 9, no one wants to go out?! Ask yourselves, is there a more perfect time to hang out than 9 at night on a weekday? No, there isn't. It's 75 degrees outside. It's spring break. It won't be this nice out for a LONG time.

*Sigh*

bemanix88 @ 2005-04-19T23:56:00

2005-04-20T03:56:09Z

Everyone have a good, cop-free and herb-filled 4/20!

Woot

2005-04-15T20:43:59Z

Got my license! So anyone want to hang over spring break, let me know. I only have the car at night unfortunately, cause our new Toyota Prius hasn't arrived yet. Should be here in a few weeks though, and then I'll get my dad's Solara... Looks like this

It's bigger than I'd like, and not too exciting to drive. Luxurious though. It's got leather seats, nice sound system, V6, everything. More importantly, it drives.

bemanix88 @ 2005-04-13T23:06:00

2005-04-14T03:06:54Z

Last few days have been insane. I got home tonight at 10:45 after a day of tough tests, track, driving lessons, and SAT class (4 1/2 hours of it..ouch!) I'm not even opening my bookbag tonight. Straight to bed.. soon as I get off the computer.

My drivers license test is on Friday. I'm so nervous. If I pass, my spring break will be amazing. But if I fail, I think I'll shoot myself. I've been waiting for this for so long.... Wish me luck!

MLK

2005-04-04T21:30:55Z

Today is the 37th anniversary of Martin Luther King's death... I'm surprised no one mentioned it at all today, not even teachers. I don't really have a strong opinion on it (maybe I should?), except it was really dick to shoot him cause he was one of the greatest leaders of the century. I thought it was worth mentioning though.

I just got home from track about 20 minutes ago--Gotta eat, shower, and be out the door again in another 20 minutes. Off to 4 1/2 hours of SAT class. Oh, and I have a ton of homework soon as I get back. I think I'll go jump out of a window now.

On the slightly brighter side of things.. I'm lookin forward to the track meet on Wednesday. Supposed to be great weather (70's!!!) and I hear Somers--those fuckers--have shitty throwers, so I may have a chance at javelin. I'm getting the hang of it now, I can hit maybe 80-90 feet and my technique is better.

If those guys from Somers XC are around, I hope Liebowitz owns them.

bemanix88 @ 2005-04-03T15:35:00

2005-04-03T19:35:32Z

I got back from a run today and was in the shower, when I had a weird revelation.

Judy Funnie probably did SO many drugs. I bet she was a salvia fiend.

Die

2005-03-27T03:21:28Z

Hey. All you people who like to drive on busy roads with your high beams on. I hope you all choke and die!

I hate being in the house on Saturday nights... I feel like I could be doing something much more fun.

Random thoughts.

2005-03-21T02:40:30Z

Garageband (Apple's free music recording program) is cool. Million Dollar Baby was awesome. Ring two sucked. Track season starts tomorrow. And is it just me, or has this school year gone by REALLY fast?!

New computer and a few less teeth

2005-03-12T19:51:38Z

I finally got that Powerbook that I originally was gonna get at the end of summer.. WOOT! (Thanks dad!) I'm typing on it right now.. it is damn sexy. Got wireless and everything. It's a million times nicer than my old computer, which my dad is taking cause he needs it for his lab--that was the reason I got such a nice comp in the first place. He got a huge discount on it. This thing usually sells for $1499, but he got the older model for only $999 with grant money.

Also not so good.. I got my wisdom teeth out on Friday. The whole procedure was really easy, since I was all drugged up. It just felt like I was drunk the entire time. It didn't really hurt afterwards either (I took a couple of Vicodin) but my cheeks are swollen as hell. Hah. I hope I'm back to normal by Monday.. though I doubt it :-/

bemanix88 @ 2005-02-13T23:30:00

2005-02-14T04:29:59Z

I'm frustrated. I feel like I'm decent at a lot of things, but what I really need is to be the best at something. I mean.. I consider myself decent at violin, drawing, sports, whatever. But then there's always a million people out there who I know are way better than me, and I'll never be as good as they are. I dunno. Maybe I'm just not motivated enough or something. Or maybe I haven't found something I'm really good at. Who knows?

bemanix88 @ 2005-02-08T21:24:00

2005-02-09T02:24:01Z

Damn. I was so pumped to show my parents my Highest Honors grades (3.83 GPA) for this semester tonight.

My dad's reply: "What's highest honors?"

My mom's reply: "Oh, good job"

Crap, shoulda seen it coming!

I am drowning in homework and tests!! Somebody help me!

bemanix88 @ 2005-01-30T00:22:00

2005-01-30T05:22:17Z

I've been thinking tonight... I wonder if close-minded people ever realize all that they miss out on. Do they ever look back and wish they'd tried more? You only live once. I guess it sort of relates to the Miller quote I put up earlier.

bemanix88 @ 2005-01-29T22:55:00

2005-01-30T03:55:19Z

"Life has no other discipline to impose, if we would but realize it, than to accept life unquestioningly. Everything we shut our eyes to, everything we run away from, everything we deny, denigrate, or despise, serves to defeat us in the end. What seems nasty, painful, evil, can become a source of beauty, joy, and strength, if faced with an open mind. Every moment is a golden one for him who has the vision to recognize it as such."

-Henry Miller

bemanix88 @ 2005-01-27T19:48:00

2005-01-28T00:48:32Z

This is the funniest commercial I've ever watched!

www.budweiser.com

Watch the "Wardrobe Malfunction" commercial, you'll love it.

bemanix88 @ 2005-01-23T21:24:00

2005-01-24T02:24:23Z

http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/nm/life_spongebob_dc

What will the religious right come up with next......???

Jobs?

2005-01-21T01:05:20Z

Hooray, people are actually coming to me for jobs lately. One of my neighbors is paying me to shovel the snow while he's away on a business trip or something. I'm pretty sure I ripped myself off, cause I wasn't really sure how much I should charge to shovel a driveway. I asked for $20 (sounded reasonable to me) and he was pretty happy to pay it... And hey, I'm not complaining. $20 isn't bad at all for someone as broke as I am... plus I actually enjoy shovelling snow in a weird way. Also, strangely enough, my next door neighbor is paying me $7 an hour next month to babysit her kid! The kid is like 10 years old and hes pretty cool, so it should be a nice job. I can get some schoolwork done while I'm at it.

bemanix88 @ 2005-01-15T23:50:00

2005-01-16T04:50:55Z

:-D Worst. Bong. Ever.